The Pariah Of Kolkata

Knight Riders

How fortunes change! Last year Shah Rukh Khan was the darling of Kolkata, this year he is a pariah…He dare not set foot in this city…Things are so bad that people are burning his posters and are refusing to buy KKR or SRK merchandise…All because of John Buchanan, the coach of the Kolkata Knight Riders (KKR) now renamed Knight Riders…

As we all know, the team is not performing…It has lost the last 8 matches it has played and is right now hiding behind controversies, internal battles, tell-all fake blogs, bad coaching, too much coaching and racism…

The only ‘credential’ Buchanan has is his gift of the gab…His ‘success’ as the Australian coach  was due to the stong team he inherited and not his coaching or man management skills…It is amazing how he managed to convince SRK to spend millions to hire his family members and friends as coaches (his son is the strength coach ??!!) and also try out controversial new theories (eg. 4 captain theory) at the cost of his (SRK’s) team…What an idiot SRK turned out to be! He was so convinced by the smooth talking Buchanan that he even had the temerity to ridicule Sunil Gavaskar’s knowledge of cricket! WOW! Anyway, it is sad to see the normally cricket loving Kolkatans not watching the KKR matches…

My friend Bhaskar (Strawberry Fields Occasionally) has written a very funny post on the misfortunes of the KKR…It is a part of his ‘Misadventures of Sherlock Holmes’ series…

“Mr Buchanan’s theory is not without its merits” , remarked Sherlock Holmes
It was a cold and gloomy afternoon as we sat in our Baker Street apartment watching the IPL on television.
” And what , Holmes , do you base that opinion on ?” , I asked
This took him by no small surprise.
” Well “, he ventured with some hesitation, “Er , ..that is to say …, it is based on certain logical conclusions that I have arrived at by the usual deductive process of reasoning that you are aware , dear Watson, I hold much store by and indeed – and this at the risk of sounding immodest -have employed profitably in the past .”
Readers of my more recent chronicles would perhaps be aware of my growing dismay with this man’s failings of late. Holmes’ unquestionably great powers have been on the wane. What has made it pitiable is his attempts to obfuscate the fact with utterly unconvincing bluster , this Buchanan comment not least amidst many.
” Come come Holmes , this is hardly becoming of you ” , i rebuked.
“But my dear Watson ! When it came to such aspects as the toss , for instance , multiple captains would spread the risks associated with the luck of any one individual over several and thereby average , as it were , the probabilities. For another , players would have more captains to look up to. Not to mention the fans’ delight at having more than one captain to take photographs with and have signed autographs from. And what ,pray, of press conferences where multiple voices would provide a Surround Sound effect in keeping with the times which , incidentally, the IPL is all about. But just think of the commercial opportunities from that alone , man ! I fear , my good Watson , your thinking is much too rooted in the 19th century”.
More obscurities that I was not prepared to suffer.
” And I take it you have deduced the outcome of the next Knight Riders game ?” , I asked with a strong tinge of sarcasm , almost scorn.
Holmes’ pat reply – it made me to happy to note – had such a ring of confident authority as I had not heard in a considerable length of time : ” They will lose.”
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4 thoughts on “The Pariah Of Kolkata

  1. Awesome . I rub my hands in glee whenever the KKR lose , cause SRK is the owner . Megalomaniac !
    He was so confident that he didn’t even bother discussing Buchanan’s 4 captain theory with other cricketers…

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  2. Shahrukh has gone crazy…. KKRs have become AKRs, A for Australian. If SRK did not want to listen to dada, he should have lent his ear to another Aussie, Shane Warne, who is very clear that at this level, there is no need of a coach! And he has proved it by shaping a bunch of greenhorns into beaters.

    In any case I think Buchanan is going to be booted out now…Jadeja has kicked up a row by saying that the Aussie support staff have indulged in racism….it is horrible indeed to be on the losing side.

    Shane Warne doesn’t think much of Buchanan…I wonder why SRK didn’t boot him out earlier? I’m sure the team would have done better without Buchanan & Co.

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  3. I am a dada fan.. and I hate watching the matches that KKR loses… 😦
    height of stupidity from SRK and Buchanan 😡
    And this one is well written 🙂

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