Are You Religious But Have No Time To Pray?

Don’t worry…Your computer can do it for you…Well, not your computer exactly but for $4.95/month, this website can pray for you…The site uses text-to-speech synthesizers to say prayers in a voice designed to emulate the volume and speed of an average praying person and best of all, each prayer is voiced individually with the name of the subscriber displayed on screen… You can choose from Protestant, Catholic, Jewish, and Muslim prayers and if you’re unaffiliated, no problem, they’ve got options for you as well! Sorry Hindus, Sikhs, Buddhists and Jains – you’ll have to wait for some time to use this service…

I’ll never use this service because if I pray, I want God to hear what I have to say…Unfortunately, my computer doesn’t have a soul and so its prayers (for me) will not be audible to God…My $4.95/month will go to waste…I’d rather use the money to buy a Big Mac…

Also, I was thinking, if machines can say prayers for you, why can’t live priests be replaced with robotic ones? This would solve the homosexuality problem of the Catholic Church…

P.S. I forgot to mention that “prices are determined by the length of the prayer. A discounted prayer will cost less than other prayers of similar length.”

While on the topic of weird services and marketing ploys, I just have to tell you about one I heard from my parents’ driver in Kolkata…Apparently, a new cremation ground has opened up in his village and the trustees of the same are offering 2 tolas of gold to the family who uses the ground first…The second family will get a colour TV…Morbid, absolutely morbid…I thought cremation grounds were few and far between and demand recession proof, so why should administrators of one need to adopt a sales strategy? Fishy, really fishy…


27 thoughts on “Are You Religious But Have No Time To Pray?

  1. There is no relation between religion and praying. To be is to pray and praying too much is only boring and extremely ‘counterproductive’ for the life one is living now.

    In my native tongue – Dutch – the saying goes that ‘Zijn is bidden’ to be translated as ‘to be is to pray’.


  2. LOL!!!!! we humans keep coming up with such great stuff…. and you always end up finding them!!!


    Three cheers, maybe I should register with that site even thougg it does not have hindu prayers 😛 LOL


    • Entrepreneurship, OG, entrepreneurship…Humans are born capitalists (and that’s why Communism doesn’t work…Mr. Karat, did you hear that?)…They’ll sell anything and everything to make a buck…I really want to dissect the brains that come up with such ideas because I’m bewildered by them…


  3. LOL bones… prayers too technologically driven… SIGH.. I dont know how people were coming up with such ideas.. as you have said humans are born capitalists.. 🙂 and that cremation ground really seems to be fishy… its like first come first serve basis


  4. Well, they say religion generates a lot of income- but mostly of the wrong kind.

    A couple of years ago I had to go to a physiotherapy clinic daily to do exercises. For a whole hour as she taught me exercises, the physiotherapist would keep a sort of tape recorder running which chanted over and over in a monotonous voice- “Sriram Jai Ram Jai Jai Ram”. I was heartily sick of these words by the time I stopped going there.

    I gather that with the computer praying, the devotee doesn’t actually have to hear the prayers chanted on his behalf?


  5. Bones, 2 years back a friend sent me a website where one could do aartiand puja and told me that since she didn’t have any temple nearby, she uses that website to pray. I was laughing hysterically. I still am…..


  6. The whole concept was hilarious!
    and then I read the PS too..

    prices are determined by the length of the prayer. A discounted prayer will cost less than other prayers of similar length.” ???? 😯

    this is nuts!

    and the cremation ground ppl offering two tolas of gold and colour tv??thats even crazier!!
    you are so rigth..that IS so morbid! *shudder*

    What is wrong with the world??

    lol@Kanagu’s’ first come first serve basis’.. its funny in a weird way


  7. can’t believe this…. according to me ,to pray(or to talk 2 god), u don’t have to go to church ,temple or’ to register these websites’.You can talk to god at any time,probably while you are traveling,eating ,taking shower etc.when we understand this basic thing, no morons will come to exploit us in the name of god and religion………….


  8. Of course it is beyond ridiculous to find or build a relation between ‘money’ and ‘praying’. ”Zijn = bidden” in my native Dutch has to do with the verb ‘bidden’ that etymologically comes from ‘bieden’ a verb meaning ‘to offer’.

    Offering your prayers means simply: offering your existence that certainly is not caused by you bur by a billion or more years process that must have been some type of start.

    Take it extremely easy with fundamentalists. Most of them are people whose fundaments are rotten…but they don’t want even to talk or think about it.

    The feeling that I have landed in a website where I only was looking for a gadget to help me in translating from one language to a diffrent ons has not disappeared.

    Take life easy, very easy and think of your own relative short but probably intense existence on Planet Earth.



  9. Outsourcing of prayer is indeed hilarious.

    I cannot imagine how something as private as a prayer – a communion of sorts – can be outsourced. Well, your statement that they do not have many registrations says it all.


  10. What a great business idea! And with discounts for small prayers to boot. Awesome.

    As for the cremation ground story: I am sure there will be some good Indians, tempted by the freebies on offer, who will actually pray (for free, not for 4.95) for an early death in the family.

    Quirky Indian


  11. Wow!! Unbelievable!! Guess there are loads of people who will fall for this and pay for ‘prayers’!!! Wonder who thought up this!!!

    As for the cremation ground – again unbelievable!


  12. Haha, this is carrying outsourcing to its extreme. what next I wonder. Programs to compose romantic replies to lovers or woo them? How about deputing them on a romantic date or sending them for a medical check up to the hospital?


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