A Letter To My Remote

Dear Remote,

We’ve been together for years – our relationship has been based on mutual understanding and respect…But lately I’ve noticed a change in this relationship – you have stopped listening to me and communicating my requests efficiently…

As I see it, your only function is to communicate with the TV, the cable box and the DVD player from a distance so that I don’t have to get off my comfortable sofa…Don’t you think it kind of defeats the purpose when you insist on being held at a certain angle two inches away from the sensors in order to do your job? Why are you suddenly acting up? Is it the endless discussions on the Obama health care reform or is it the mindnumbing show “I’m a celebrity – get me out of here!”? Whatever your reasons may be, just don’t give me the excuse that your batteries are running out because I know for a fact that they are not…

Remember, you are in the communication business and there are some basic things you are supposed to communicate for me:

  • “Speak up”
  • “Speak down”
  • “Shut up”
  • “Change channel”
  • “Go back to previous channel”
  • “Go to favourite channel”
  • “Display Menu”
  • “Display programme information”
  • “Play”
  • “Stop”
  • “Pause”
  • “Go back”
  • “Go forward”
  • “Record”
  • “Switch on”
  • “Switch off”
  • “Sleep”
  • “Wake up”

None of these are hard to say but if you have a problem saying them, please feel free to let me know so that I can start looking for a more competent candidate…

Regards,

Your Lazy Employer

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22 thoughts on “A Letter To My Remote

  1. LOL bones!!!!! LOL………

    the thing to do here is to to knock some sense into it…….. by hitting it on the head….. πŸ˜›

    I have found that it works…………….. atleast in my case it did……….. πŸ˜›

    I’ve tried it but it didn’t work…Maybe it’s time to get a more competent one…

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  2. Hi first time here πŸ™‚

    The suggestion of banging it works always !! Even we human beings sometimes needed to be kicked in the *** to get going correct :P? So why not a remote!!:)

    Welcome!!!

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  3. what de? LMAO πŸ˜€ .I missed the Dear Remote, part initially,so was thinking ,whom you were talking abt πŸ™‚
    throw it down roughly 2 ,3 times , sometimes it will works

    I think dropping it umpteen times has made it behave the way it is…It already has scotch tape all over

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  4. We just replaced our TV remote… and bought a brand new one…

    but my emotions with my old remote still remain…. I use that while wife uses the new one… and we compete to watch our favourite channel… !!!!! πŸ˜› πŸ˜›

    I can just imagine the two of you sitting and changing channels continuously…Do either one of you get to watch anything?

    Like

    • lol !!! πŸ˜€

      also put in a son in there… trying to snatch the remote from her Mom to watch POGO !!!!

      lol….

      its crazy… !!

      I dont watch anything normally unless cricket …. the struggle will begin form Friday when India starts playing… I have to hide the other remote… :mrgreen:

      Well, soon we’ll have to buy another TV because my daughter monopolizes it…Thank god there’s no Hangama here…She watches decent cartoons like Mickey Mouse and Winnie The Pooh now…In India she loved watching Kitretsu and Perman – oof!!!

      My interest in cricket is waning – too much of it…For instance, this series…All for money…And Dravid – why has been brought back into the team?

      Like

  5. Bones!! Ha ha ha!!! That was too much! The old indian style of tapping it gently and if it still doesn’t respond, then bashing it against the wall is known to have worked for a lot of people.
    You are lucky you get to hold your remote. Mine hides from me. I think it likes to play only Pogo, Disney and Cartoon Network! πŸ˜€
    Ah, but I only get to hold it when everyone is asleep!

    Like

  6. LOL Bones!! Your remote is not happy πŸ™‚ If whacking it does not work – time to change it πŸ™‚ Here my daughter hides the remote everytime my husband enters the room – both of them keep fighting over it -I stay away from remotes – I just need my laptop πŸ™‚

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  7. My feeling is your remote is suffering from chronic degeneration of sensory afferent pathways leading on to disruption of transmission of stimuli in the efferent channels due to apoptosis

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  8. Gud one!!!!

    Everyday, in my TV time, after the whole family is out of the house, my first job is to tap the remote nicely on my lap some 3 or 4 times, so that it doesn’t give all the troubles mentioned above in ur post, during my TV time. πŸ˜†

    You shld see my elder daughter – I think she was born with the remote. While she is watching TV, she’ll hold both the Tata Sky remote and the TV remote in her hand. And if she goes any where in the home, she’ll carry both the remotes with her. She feels that by holding the remote in her hand, the program is enjoyed more, by her.
    Just like my daughter!

    Like

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