Who Cares About Politics?

I was going to do something about my political and voter apathy, but then I realized I didn’t give a shit…

Yes, I don’t vote…I tried to register myself once, but those idiotic governmentwallahs made my life miserable…And why don’t I vote? Because I don’t want to be held accountable for those idiotic bums we call leaders…Imagine if I had voted for Congress MP Shantaram Naik – ugh! (Please read the link if you want to know why he makes me want to puke)

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Politics For Dummies

“In the Youth Congress, if you have support and can get elected, you can be a leader” – Rahul Gandhi [Link]

The truth has a way of slipping out at unexpected times, right Mr.Gandhi? Without your family’s support and money, would you have become a leader?

The story is incomplete…Mr. Gandhi forgot to mention all the rules of the game…

Rule 1

Morals are for idiots…An honest politician is an oxymoron

Rule 2

Neta = Clout + Money (Bribes, Swindling, Extortion) + Goonda + Dubious Record + Manipulative Skills + Ability to make outrageous comments and later deny them (foot-in-mouth syndrome) + Disconnect from reality

Rule 3

Qualifications required: 3rd. standard fail certificate + long criminal record (murder, rape, fraud, extortion)

Rule 4

Wear white…If you can’t afford Ariel or Surf, use Nirma…If you can’t afford even Nirma, wear saffron

Rule 5

Working for constituents is unfashionable…The first 2 years have to be devoted to recouping election expenses and the next 3 to raising money for reelection or retirement

Rule 6

Be fluent in at least one vernacular language…Forget English

Rule 7

Always travel in a motorcade with 50 ‘black cats’…Make sure to block traffic…After all, politicians are aam aadmi

Rule 8

Weekends are yours…Try your best make each and every weekend a long one by not attending parliament on Mondays

Rule 9

Make sure to employ a good CA to hide your black money…Be well versed in Swiss and Cayman Islands banking laws

Rule 10

Get involved in a scam at the first opportunity

Edited to add:

Rule 11

Make sure to hire good PR people to organize symposiums dedicated to your praises while doing nothing for your constituents or country…Keep on offering freebies like plastic water containers (coloured), colour TVs, rice at Rs.2/kg, free electricity etc. without caring two hoots about the financial implications

Rule 12

Always be ready to go on indefinite hunger strikes from 6 am to 12 noon when things don’t go your way

Rule 13

Make sure to rent a good cold storage facility to house your election promises…Recycling is the need of the day

Rule 14

Never offend extremists especially foreign ones

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Does The ‘Bell Bajao’ Campaign…

inspire people to do something against domestic violence or do most people still hesitate to interfere in other people’s personal business? In my opinion, mass media campaigns work well in sending the message that domestic violence is not normal, but I don’t think real change occurs due to them…

Why do I say this? Take my case…On Monday evening about 50 people (including me) in our condo’s play area witnessed a huge Dutch guy hitting and pushing his tiny Vietnamese wife whilst pushing their one month old baby in a carriage…He walked the length of the park dragging his wife with one hand and then started hitting her…The wife finally managed to get away and he went up to his apartment…My 5 year old daughter noticed this first and asked me what was happening…Everybody was staring but nobody (including me) had the guts to do anything…This couple lives on the 9th. floor of our building and are usually very lovey-dovey…My friend is their neighbour and she happened to be in the same lift with the beaten wife when she eventually went up…The latter was crying and the former (who has a hi-bye relationship with her) asked her what the matter was…The woman said something had bitten her…A few minutes later, the friend called me and said that the woman was banging on her apartment door to get in but her husband wasn’t opening it…She was wondering if she should intervene but was a bit worried that if she did, the husband (who could have been drunk although didn’t seem to be) would be rude to her…Both of us didn’t know what to do since it wasn’t our business and we didn’t want a backlash…In other words, we were cowards…

When I told my husband about this, he said we should have called the police or the domestic violence helpline…Yes, we should have and the next time I witness something this terrible, I hope I have the guts to at least pick up the phone and call…