Wife Beaters Say Ban Will Hurt Relationships

(I’ve started a new blog called ‘Daily News Update‘…It is supposed to be a news satire blog and is still a work in progress…Below is a post from there…Do let me know what you think of it…Thanks…)

NASHA MURD (Haryana): A group of alcoholic and wife beating husbands gheroed the panchayat members of this tiny village late last evening to protest against the demolition of the only alcohol shop in the area by the all woman panchayat.

The spokesman of the group, Brijesh Kumar, said, “Our relations with our wives are based solely on a cocktail of long term alcohol abuse and the threat of physical and mental violence. Alcohol gets us in the mood. Without it, we lose our edge, our masculinity. The demolition of the shop violates our God given right to be the ‘man of the house’.”

“He once broke my arm for failing to identify the brew he was drinking,” said Munni Devi, wife of a frequent domestic abuse perpetrator and a member of the group.

“If after 20 years of marriage, she can’t tell the difference between beer and rum, then she needs to be beaten. She’s stupid,” replied her visibly angry husband.

Kumar continued on to say that the continual on-edge feeling is at the heart of an exciting and dynamic marriage.

It’s not just the wife who benefits. Children, both in wedlock, out of wedlock, above wedlock and below wedlock, also do as they all get one-on-one daddy time when the father is drunk.

Kumar said if the ban on alcohol continues, the men would have no option but to leave their homes in search of greener pastures. “Who will take care of their beds during the day then when their wives and children go to work?”


9 thoughts on “Wife Beaters Say Ban Will Hurt Relationships

  1. Sheesh! As much as I want to believe times r changing, I land up on such news items 😦 Thatz outright ridiculous … hard to even believe ppl cn stoop down to such levels 😦

    Me: Nope this is a satire…I’ve taken an important issue and made it into a news item…Just trying my hand at something new…


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