Viagra Spill Revives BJP

NEW DELHI – A tanker containing 1,000 metric tons of Viagra struck a road divider and overturned near the mausoleum-like BJP central office at 11, Ashok Road yesterday. As a result, the once blooming but now frigid lotus no longer dangles only in Gujarat –  it now spans majestically across the entire country.

According to eyewitnesses, roughly 30 minutes after the tanker’s contents dissolved, the lotus slowly but firmly began to bloom and push towards parliament. Eventually, its swollen petals managed to poke aside the Congress, which political experts in air-conditioned studios said will lose its status as the ruling party for the next four to six hours.

“For the last few years, that lotus just sat there, all shriveled and lame,” said Raj Jain, a resident of Ashok Road. “Frankly, I never thought about it anymore. It was a has-been. But now, things have changed. Our neighbourhood is once again vibrant and beautiful.”

At 10 Janpath, Madam Sonia Gandhi worriedly asked an aide, “Is the lotus a threat, or is it just excited to see me suffer? I don’t want to take any chances. Ban the import and manufacture of Viagra.”