Open Letter To A Telemarketer

Dear Friendly Telemarketer,

I’ve tried to be pleasant. I’ve tried to be polite. Every time you call, I make the effort to hear you out, and yet you torment me. You politely ask if I have a moment to hear your spiel, to which I can simply say, “No”, but I don’t. Now I will because you and your brethren have mutated into an aggressive and ruthless breed. You have become the most lowly form of scum.

I know telemarketing is your job and you would not be doing it if you had an option, but that does not give you the right to stalk me.  As of today, I see no obligation to be polite to you. When you call me to sell some moronic product or service or conduct a survey, you take up my time. You invade my privacy. You try to manipulate me. You feel entitled to force yourself on me. In other words, you are no different from stalkers, spammers and fundamentalists.

If your industry is as ethical as those who promote it claim it to be, then why do you continue calling people who plainly do not want to be called? Let me give you some sales advice: by not calling people who don’t want to be called, you will not only decrease the annoyance factor but also increase the number of actual takers of your telemarketed product or service. Get rid of the belief that by calling someone a hundred times you might get them to pay up to make you go away.

And here’s another thing. When I say “No,I don’t want you to call back at a more convenient time”, I mean it. There will never be a more convenient time to try to sell me something I don’t want. Get it?

Sorry for putting a hole in your sales target, but there it is.

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20 thoughts on “Open Letter To A Telemarketer

  1. Its so hard sometimes to tell those ppl that we are not interested in buying anything from them. They nag and torment the callers. And I particularly hate it, when they call in the afternoon, when I try to rest myself a little.

    Me: I wrote this because for the last 3 afternoons, telemarketers for this bank have been calling me…They just don’t take no for an answer…Now it’s time to be rude…

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  2. imagine for a second if you were at the other end of that line….

    Me: I have imagined and that’s why I’ve been polite till now…But sometimes they just don’t listen and continue calling when I’ve explicitly said no…I feel that if they can be rude, so can I…

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  3. Very sensible points! Those at the top must have some common sense & take lessons in basic psychology that by raising the nuisance value, they can’t increase popularity of their brand.

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  4. Well said. And I think the clear solution to the problem lies in completely re-modeling the entire way this thing works, where in they call up people randomly, it is a very futile and stupid way, they need to refine the processes a lot more!

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  5. I feel so sorry for the telemarketers, but I alsoi feel sorry for those who are disturbed by such calls.
    There must some mechanism to filter these calls.
    No cant happen. IT IS BIG M ONEY

    Me: There are ‘do not call’ registries but often telemarketers pay no heed…

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  6. It is so annoying isn’t it? I feel sorry for them too, but it gets too much when they are so aggressive. Once somebody called me and asked, ‘Have you been involved in any accident recently’. And I said , ‘No’ – we really had any accident and he had the cheek to day – ‘My data suggests otherwise’!!!!!

    Me: LOL

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  7. The last time I pretended to be my 8 year old niece, and I told him ‘My aunt is saying she is not here.” He said “Aap to bare smart bachche ho.” He actually asked about school, friends, which class etc.

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  8. “imagine for a second if you were at the other end of that line….

    Me: I have imagined and that’s why I’ve been polite till now…But sometimes they just don’t listen and continue calling when I’ve explicitly said no…I feel that if they can be rude, so can I…”

    Exactly how I take it..I have spent money for no good purpose,let alone for the intention of helping those sales girls who come home,but now i have stopped it, because there seems no end ,either to their problems,nor to the increasing number..

    Me: And the worse part, at least with the door-to-door sales people, is that the stuff they sell rarely work!

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  9. GOD knows hw the hell they manage to get our numbers? Jerks they are, even when we say plz…do not bother us again…it seems to go unnoticed. I lose my temper and bang the phone..I mean if its once its understandable but not again n again …

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  10. Sigh… !!!! The Telemarketers have a tough job on their hands… !!!

    Having been in sales and I still am… I always try to politely tell them that its not gonna work with me… better they hang up and try someone else so that their time is saved and they rather find a potential buyer of what they are trying to sell… ! 🙂

    Its irritating and I get it…. but its a job that is to be done.. 🙂 Trust me they dont enjoy it as much… but well… it pays… !

    Me: I’m sure it’s a tough job and I’m also sure telemarketers play pranks on customers who are rude to them by calling them in the afternoon or at dinner time…

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  11. Oh I have fun with them.
    1.I tell them that I am a defaulter and they are doing their bank a disservice by calling me.
    2. That I am a professional blackmailer
    3. I recently learnt that they dont want to sell credit cards etc to lawyers, so I tell them that I am a lawyer
    4. I tell them (in a bad Chinese accent and extremely bad Hindi) that I am from Beijing
    5. I seriously tell them that I’ll take their loan but wont pay it back. The telecaller has to pay it, because he is forcing me to take it.

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  12. Phoenixritu,

    Hahaha! Yours must be one of those rarest of rare cases, where the telemarketer must be slamming phone on the prospective customer, rather than the other way round! 😀

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  13. I have no trouble rattling off a resounding “No” when I get such calls. And no problem being rude, if required, either.
    There’s a device in the US that aggressively filters calls. The caller has to punch in the number he/she is calling from and only if it is recognised does the call go through to the subscriber. A boon against telemarketers, but the flip side is that friends and family can’t get through when they call from unfamiliar numbers. Which can make things really difficult in an emergency.

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  14. 🙂 They are relentless these callers. My brother once listened to their entire conversation before confessing politely tht he wasn’t 18 & couldn’t take their loans!

    Me: Sometimes they insist I need a personal loan when I don’t…I just hate it!

    Like

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