Don’t worry…Your computer can do it for you…Well, not your computer exactly but for $4.95/month, this website can pray for you…The site uses text-to-speech synthesizers to say prayers in a voice designed to emulate the volume and speed of an average praying person and best of all, each prayer is voiced individually with the name of the subscriber displayed on screen… You can choose from Protestant, Catholic, Jewish, and Muslim prayers and if you’re unaffiliated, no problem, they’ve got options for you as well! Sorry Hindus, Sikhs, Buddhists and Jains – you’ll have to wait for some time to use this service…
I’ll never use this service because if I pray, I want God to hear what I have to say…Unfortunately, my computer doesn’t have a soul and so its prayers (for me) will not be audible to God…My $4.95/month will go to waste…I’d rather use the money to buy a Big Mac…
Also, I was thinking, if machines can say prayers for you, why can’t live priests be replaced with robotic ones? This would solve the homosexuality problem of the Catholic Church…
P.S. I forgot to mention that “prices are determined by the length of the prayer. A discounted prayer will cost less than other prayers of similar length.”
While on the topic of weird services and marketing ploys, I just have to tell you about one I heard from my parents’ driver in Kolkata…Apparently, a new cremation ground has opened up in his village and the trustees of the same are offering 2 tolas of gold to the family who uses the ground first…The second family will get a colour TV…Morbid, absolutely morbid…I thought cremation grounds were few and far between and demand recession proof, so why should administrators of one need to adopt a sales strategy? Fishy, really fishy…
Ramblings By Bones 