Faking It

I’m a wine ignoramus and have no problem admitting it…Whilst I like wine, I have no idea what bouquet, body, balance etc. mean…Let me clarify…I know what they are supposed to mean, but can’t tell the difference in them between different wines and vintages…All I know is that wines are white, red or rose and sparkling or non-sparkling…I never could understand why a wine was called dry when it was clearly a liquid…And what does it mean anyway? I’ve always preferred white wines (non-sparkling) because they are served chilled and are not as heavy as the reds (which idiot made the rule that red wine should be drunk at room temperature only?)…Whilst I lived in New York City, I made friends with some ABCDs and Indian expats who considered themselves wine connoisseurs after drinking the beverage on a regular basis for only 3 – 6 months…It seemed to me that as soon as an Indian landed in America, he/she became a wine expert when the person hadn’t touched the stuff whilst in India…Was it the water? I never could understand this phenomenon but what I could understand was that these people made me feel insecure…

Then one day I had an epiphany – most of these so-called wine connoisseurs were faking it…Nobody knew anything about wine…What an idiot I had been for thinking that these friends knew their wines just because they were tossing around some fancy words they had memorized…And why do I say most people are faking it? Because one day I noticed a friend-cum-wine aficionado turn back a bottle of wine at a restaurant saying he had tasted it before and it had bad bouquet or something when a month ago, we had had the same wine and he had said it was good and worth every penny…I remembered this particular wine because it came in a nice bottle (yes, I admit, I do sometimes buy wine by how cool the bottle looks) and it was then I had my epiphany…

Now I’m no longer intimidated by people who think they know what they are talking about and have no problem saying that I like a $10 bottle of wine…

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