This article in the Hindustan Times and another one I had read some time back got me thinking – if child pornography is such a big thing, do we need to acknowledge the existence of ‘good pedophiles’ (by ‘good pedophiles’ I mean men who haven’t acted on their urges)? Don’t get me wrong – I DO NOT support child molesters and think they are the worst scum of the earth – worse than murderers…I also think all of them should be physically castrated, but what about people who are burdened with a sexual interest in children but who possess the moral sense to resist acting on that interest? I mean, we all know that most people are racists and as long as they don’t harm anybody, we don’t give a damn about them, so should we give a damn about people who merely view child pornography?
I don’t think pedophiles can be converted to non-pedophiles, just as homosexuals cannot be converted to heterosexuals, but how can society help the ‘good pedophiles’ and thereby our children? I’m sure most of these people don’t get help from professional therapists because of the social stigma attached (I’m not sure if there are psycho therapies geared towards men who haven’t acted out) and manage to get through life by controlling their urges, but what happens if the percentage of people who can control themselves falls? Should there be government sponsored agencies who provide medication anonymously to reduce such people’s sex drive? Shouldn’t we think along these lines, meaning, shouldn’t we be thinking about nipping the problem in the bud?
Again, I’m just rambling here but do let me know your thoughts…
Since I had to be born a woman, I’m lucky it was in India (I never thought I would say this)…
February 6th. was the International Day Against Female Genital Mutilation …According to UNFPA, the United Nations Population Fund, an estimated 120 to 140 million women have been subjected this inhumane practice and 3 million girls continue to be at risk each year…The practice not only violates the basic human rights of women and girls, but it also compromises their health and leaves lasting physical and psychological scars…
Many believe female genital mutilation or cutting (FGM/C) is required by some religions…This is not true…It is more of a cultural practice than a religious one and is generally performed on girls between ages 4 and 12, although it is practiced in some cultures as early as a few days after birth or as late as just prior to marriage…
Prevalence of FGM/C Among Younger and Older Women
Source: Population Reference Bureau, Female Genital Mutilation/Cutting: Data and Trends (2008).
FGM/C is practiced in 28 countries in Africa and a few in Asia and the Middle East…It reflects deep-rooted inequality between the sexes, and constitutes an extreme form of discrimination against women…In cultures where it is practiced, it is considered a necessary part of raising a girl properly, motivated by beliefs about what is considered proper sexual behaviour, linking procedures to premarital virginity and marital fidelity… FGM/C is believed to reduce a woman’s libido, and thereby is further believed to help her resist “illicit” sexual acts…Unfortunately, women themselves are sometimes unwilling to give up the practice, as they see it as a long-standing tradition passed on from generation to generation…The practitioners are often unaware of the real implications of FGM/C and the health risks that it poses…
Eradicating long-standing traditional practices is not easy and does not happen overnight…One way to begin is by information and advocacy that raises public awareness and changes the climate of public opinion…
Please get involved in a social issue of your choice because I believe each one of us, in our own way, wants to save lives…
(I’ve started a new blog called ‘Daily News Update‘…It is supposed to be a news satire blog and is still a work in progress…Below is a post from there…Do let me know what you think of it…Thanks…)
NASHA MURD (Haryana): A group of alcoholic and wife beating husbands gheroed the panchayat members of this tiny village late last evening to protest against the demolition of the only alcohol shop in the area by the all woman panchayat.
The spokesman of the group, Brijesh Kumar, said, “Our relations with our wives are based solely on a cocktail of long term alcohol abuse and the threat of physical and mental violence. Alcohol gets us in the mood. Without it, we lose our edge, our masculinity. The demolition of the shop violates our God given right to be the ‘man of the house’.”
“He once broke my arm for failing to identify the brew he was drinking,” said Munni Devi, wife of a frequent domestic abuse perpetrator and a member of the group.
“If after 20 years of marriage, she can’t tell the difference between beer and rum, then she needs to be beaten. She’s stupid,” replied her visibly angry husband.
Kumar continued on to say that the continual on-edge feeling is at the heart of an exciting and dynamic marriage.
It’s not just the wife who benefits. Children, both in wedlock, out of wedlock, above wedlock and below wedlock, also do as they all get one-on-one daddy time when the father is drunk.
Kumar said if the ban on alcohol continues, the men would have no option but to leave their homes in search of greener pastures. “Who will take care of their beds during the day then when their wives and children go to work?”
Rashi sat in her darkened room depressed…She had just been told by the director of the TV serial she was working on to lose weight or he would find a replacement…Acting had always been her dream, her passion and god knows, she had worked hard and dieted hard to get this role…She had tried everything – Aitkins, Longbeach, Southbeach, Anorexia, Bulimia – but size 2 was it…She couldn’t get any thinner no matter what she did…All she could do now was to see a doctor…
So, off she went the next morning…
Rashi: “Hi! I’m a size 2 and would like to be a size 0…Can you help me?”
Dr.: “Sure…There’s this new diet that you could go on…It’s called ‘Coffee & Cigarettes’…Would you like to try it? Oh, wait a minute, didn’t you say you were an actress? Then I guess, your teeth are important to you, so this diet is out…You said you’ve tried all other diets, right?”
Rashi: “Yes, doctor…I was thinking about something more surgical in nature…Do you know of a good procedure?”
Dr.: “Sure…There’s a new thing called ‘The Organ & Bone Reduction” procedure…It basically involves shaving off portions of the skeleton and organs to achieve the desired weight…I think it would work in your case…”
Rashi: “Cool…Do you know of anyone who does it?”
Dr.: “As a matter of fact, I do…I have recently trained in this procedure and could take care of your needs right here in my clinic…Would you like me to book a date for you? But, I must warn you – it is not cheap…”
Rashi: “Money is no object…Is tomorrow too early?”
Dr.: “Well, not if you can deposit Rs.3 lakhs by the end of the day today…”
Rashi: “Thank you doctor, you are a life saver…”
Dr. (smiling): “No worries…Frankly speaking, it’s people like you who made me get into medicine…”
(NB: Inspired by a couple of lines in an episode of ‘30 Rock’)
The British democracy is diametrically opposite India’s where those in power are not held accountable to the public…Forcing politicians to defend their decisions in public is a sign of a healthy democracy…
“I hope to hell that when I do die somebody has the sense to just dump me in the river or something. Anything except sticking me in a goddam cemetary. People coming and putting a bunch of flowers on your stomach on Sunday, and all that crap. Who wants flowers when you’re dead? Nobody.” – J.D.Salinger
One day maa took me to the puja room and prayed…Then she told me to pray every day, and whatever I asked for I would get…So I tried…I prayed for maa to smile, but nothing happened…I prayed to be allowed to play like my brother did, but nothing happened…I prayed to be allowed to go to school like my brother did, but nothing happened…By and by I asked my mother why God wasn’t granting my wishes…She looked at me sadly and said I was a fool…She didn’t tell me why and I couldn’t make it out…
I sat down on my bed and thought about it…Why did maa ask me to pray for anything I wanted if she knew nothing would come out of it? Does God only grant wishes to boys? He must, because my brother had more than me…No, there’s nothing in praying…
I went and told my friend’s mother about it, and she said the things a person could get from praying were spiritual…She explained…I must help other people, do everything I could for other people, look out for them all the time, and never think about myself….I went and sat on my bed and thought about it for a long time…I said to myself there is nothing in praying…Why should I pray only for others? If others are praying for me, then why don’t I have the same things as my brother? What about me?
I went to the puja room and asked God one last question ”Why?”
(Inspired by a passage in Chapter 3 of ‘The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn’ by Mark Twain)
5. TYPE ONLY IN UPPER CASE - Stop yelling, will ya! Your written work is not that important
4. Write like Dan Brown…Milk an idea (Christianity and symbolism) till your hands drop off…Tie bits and pieces of reality closely into fiction to create a fabulous world of nothing-is-as-it-first-seems-to-be, and then call it a work based on facts…Plots should be simple and full of holes…Writing style: action, long explanation, action, long explanation…Opening sentences should always be the same – don’t ever deviate from the tried and tested formula…
Da Vinci Code – “Renowned curator Jacques Saunière staggered through the vaulted archway of the museum’s Grand Gallery.”
Angels and Demons – “Physicist Leonardo Vetra smelled burning flesh, and he knew it was his own.”
Deception Point – “Death, in this forsaken place, could come in countless forms. Geologist Charles Brophy had endured the savage splendor of this terrain for years, and yet nothing could prepare him for a fate as barbarous and unnatural as the one about to befall him.”
Sentences like “A voice spoke, chillingly close. “Do not move.” and “…crawled out from under the canvas and scanned the cavernous space for someplace to hide” (Da Vinci Code) are a must…
Oops! I nearly forgot the most important thing – your tome should be at least 10,000 pages long and each chapter only one
3. Eat noisily – chomp, slurp, belch, fart – with gravy dripping down the side of your mouth and then wipe it with the back of your hand…Make Homer Simpson turn on his head
2. Go back for more items when the cashier is already checking out your groceries…Remember to do this when there are at least 10 people in the line behind you
1. Call pseudonymous bloggers ‘the anonymous elite’
There once lived a bhadrolok named JB…You may have heard of him…
One day at a public rally many years ago, he said that if people followed him they would become diamonds amongst pebbles…The great state of Vengal would reach heights hitherto unknown…Instead of courting favour from the moneyed and powerful, he would protect the poor and the powerless…All resources and capital would be owned by ordinary workers, everybody would be equal…
By romanticizing poverty and the underdog, he managed to get a grip on the emotional core of the Vengali…
Thus the journey began…Droves of people followed JB, some voluntarily and others forcefully…They wandered for years while Vengal went from a thriving state to a wasteland…Party members could do anything they wanted to make a buck - after all, they were just making a living…From time to time, the great leader took breaks in America and England to get away from the power cuts, heat, filth, and sweaty workers…He sampled some of the best single malts on these breaks and always returned looking younger and fresher…
30 years on, as JB lay on his death bed in his mansion, an old man came to meet him…He said, “Babu, I heard you speak at the great rally and your words touched my heart…I followed you for all these years but my life is worse than it was then…My children are uneducated and jobless and the little parcel of land I had was taken away by the government and given to an industrialist…I believed in you, but now I’m a broken man…You haven’t delivered what you had promised.”
“But I have, my dear man, I promised you equality and I have given you exactly that…I have driven away the capitalists, ambitious and educated…We are a land of mediocre and unambitious have-nots now…And the best thing is, we all live in a wasteland.”
Saying this, he slowly shut his eyes and passed away to the nether world…
I’m a wine ignoramus and have no problem admitting it…Whilst I like wine, I have no idea what bouquet, body, balance etc. mean…Let me clarify…I know what they are supposed to mean, but can’t tell the difference in them between different wines and vintages…All I know is that wines are white, red or rose and sparkling or non-sparkling…I never could understand why a wine was called dry when it was clearly a liquid…And what does it mean anyway? I’ve always preferred white wines (non-sparkling) because they are served chilled and are not as heavy as the reds (which idiot made the rule that red wine should be drunk at room temperature only?)…Whilst I lived in New York City, I made friends with some ABCDs and Indian expats who considered themselves wine connoisseurs after drinking the beverage on a regular basis for only 3 – 6 months…It seemed to me that as soon as an Indian landed in America, he/she became a wine expert when the person hadn’t touched the stuff whilst in India…Was it the water? I never could understand this phenomenon but what I could understand was that these people made me feel insecure…
Then one day I had an epiphany – most of these so-called wine connoisseurs were faking it…Nobody knew anything about wine…What an idiot I had been for thinking that these friends knew their wines just because they were tossing around some fancy words they had memorized…And why do I say most people are faking it? Because one day I noticed a friend-cum-wine aficionado turn back a bottle of wine at a restaurant saying he had tasted it before and it had bad bouquet or something when a month ago, we had had the same wine and he had said it was good and worth every penny…I remembered this particular wine because it came in a nice bottle (yes, I admit, I do sometimes buy wine by how cool the bottle looks) and it was then I had my epiphany…
Now I’m no longer intimidated by people who think they know what they are talking about and have no problem saying that I like a $10 bottle of wine…
